From his early days trolling for underage tail to his recent days showing his boner via text message, this Long Island straight-acting bro is the best of all possible worlds. Looking to satisfy those teacher fantasies? Shine up your apple. Like them fresh from the frat? His nude shots feature him wearing a visor and a tank top.
Pros: Smart, witty, cleans up fabulously. You can take him home to meet mom and he’ll even wear a sweater vest to dinner. He’s also not afraid to take charge and will rap more than your knuckles if you get out of line. Even if you’ve had bad luck with Matt Strykers, give this one a shot.
Cons: The man doesn’t have the best track record with the truth. He means it when he says it’s hard going down at the dojo, showing all the young boys the right way to work. That’s the worst part, he means it. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment, Matt Striker is going to break your heart. You can do better than that, honey.
Pat Patterson Memorial Ranking: 8.5