Archive for the ‘RAW’ Category

If this happens, all the bad Guest GMs were worth it

August 7, 2009

During an interview  with IGN promoting the upcoming season of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, co-creator Glenn Howerton discussed an episode that would revolve around three characters on the show developing wresting personas. The interviewer brought up Raw’s recent trend of celebrity guest GMs, and this is what he said…

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Who is next week’s RAW guest GM?

August 5, 2009

Next week’s WWE Monday Night Raw guest GM has been announced. Who is it?

After the jump. (more…)

There are going to be a lot more RAW guest GMs!

August 5, 2009

From an article in Business Week:

“Down the road, Stephanie McMahon says the show plans to have as hosts Freddie Prinze Jr., who will promote his new role on the Fox TV show 24, former game show host Bob Barker, and the Reverend Al Sharpton (who hasn’t yet said exactly what he’ll be promoting). “

For more, click here.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results for 8/03/09

August 4, 2009

What were the matches? Who won them? Results after the jump.

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Rating the Wrestlers: Raw’s Chris Masters

August 4, 2009

lay back and think of england

Recently returned from steroids-related firing a bit of a hiatus, “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters is back and hungry for the spotlight.  He’s not as cut or as rock-hard as he once was, but he’s still quite the specimen.  This glistening granite god made his return last week on Raw and if my household is any indication, he “popped a huge quarter hour”.

Pros: He’s clearly cycling down, so you can now enjoy his ample bounty without fearing you may be thrown into the wall if you spill chardonnay on his favorite pink Izod polo.  The advanced gyno that he’s displaying shows that he’s in touch with his feminine side as well, and who doesn’t want a hulking behemoth who’s not afraid to cry on your shoulder?

Cons: If his year off of the juice is any indication, he won’t be aging as gracefully as some other roid queens.  In five years, do you want to be getting out of bed in the morning, looking pitifully down on your once-proud he-man who’s now a snoring mound of balding flab?  Cut your losses now and bag a hairless sprinter.

WWE Monday Night Raw 08/03/09 Preview

August 3, 2009

Not alot is known about tonight’s lineup. What we do know:

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What I LOVE about Pro Wrestling: Reason One

July 29, 2009
"I hama Santino Marella anda I hama the best thing in ALL of pro wrestling!"

"I hama Santino Marella anda I hama the best thing in ALL of pro wrestling!"

Throughout the last 5 years or so I have slowly grown disinterested in pro wrestling for various reasons. Raw and Smackdown used to be must-watch TV for me, but as time has gone on I have gotten to a point where I no longer watch Raw live, and more often than not I fast forward through most of the shows that I record on my DVR. Diva matches, lengthy in ring promos, Legacy, none of these things interest me. The one thing that I will stop to watch regardless of the situation is anything involving Santino Marella. Between the comedic timing, the uni brow and the Eurotrash look Santino has carved out a niche as the finest bit of comic relief in wrestling. Is he a good wrestler? Hell if I know. The one thing I am certain of is that the goofy bastard can make me laugh like no one else. Five years ago I would have been dead set against the mere thought of Santino. Back then madeup terms like “moveset” and “workrate” hindered my ability to simply sit back and enjoy wrestling. Santino is living proof that being able to wrestle 5 star wankfests is a fine tool to have as a pro wrestler, but it is not a requisite. So here’s to you, Santino, reason #1 of why I LOVE pro wrestling!

Rating Raw: Hornswoggle

July 28, 2009

hornswoggle

Pros: You know those dirty, depraved things that you sometimes think but you’d never tell anyone?  An act so shameful that no consenting partner, no matter how loving, would ever lower themselves to?  Hornswoggle would be so grateful for the attention, he’d beam at you and holler “No recip!” and shuffle out the door pleased as punch.  I mean look at the man, he’s filthy.

Cons: Despite our most forward-thinking attempts at a better society, if you come home with a person who is of the “little” persuasion, odds are good that at some point in the evening, your mother’s shame will become so transparent your mother will pull you aside and ask you whatever happened to “That nice Kareem fellow.”

Pat Patterson Memorial Ranking: N/A (does not meet height requirement)

Jeremy Piven to host 8/3/09 RAW

July 22, 2009

jeremy-piven-picture-1

Early rumors had Jeremy Piven co-hosting next week’s Raw with Shaq.  Instead we get Piven all by his lonesome as guest host/GM on the August 3rd episode of Raw.  Perhaps he will go up to various people and scream at them “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM” because that’s basically all he does all day long in real life.  If you’re like me, you prefer when Piven was just “John Cusack’s Friend.”

oh my god is jeremy piven now arguably a bigger star than john cusack?  that is a world i’m not sure i want to live in

ZZ Top to host RAW this Monday

July 19, 2009
Minus the one guy without the beard.

Minus the one guy without the beard.

Hip, young musical act ZZ Top are getting a shot at the big time this week as they are set to host Monday Night Raw. Vince Mcmahon, a man who’s infamously known to have his finger on the pulse of modern pop culture, scooped these kids up because he thinks they’re gonna go places. So make room at the top Panic At The Disco, ZZ Top are the new sexy dudes on the scene. Tune into RAW this Monday and catch these guys to see what all the buzz is about!