“Pro Wrestling’s Hold On America” was a 1999 episode of ESPN’s Outside The Lines probably most notable for its coverage of wrestler deaths, but it was also fun to watch at times. One of these times was when they showed Vince McMahon footage of the infamous skit involving Mark Henry and Chyna’s friend Sammy where they get amorous, leading to Henry uttering the immortal words “Oh! Sweet Jesus! You got a penis!”
When Brock Lesnar was in OVW as a developmental wrestler, it was noted how insane his suplexes were. Insanely strong and used to throwing around big dudes in legitimate competition, his suplexes on cooperating pro wrestlers were like nothing anyone had ever seen before. Once he was called up to the main roster and quickly won the WWE title, he had two obvious potential challengers: Kurt Angle, the only ex-amateur in the company even more decorated than Lesnar, and the Big Show, the giant who only Brock Lesnar could suplex at will.
As we reported a bit earlier, UFC is now personally invested in being Strikeforce’s direct competition, in a move that will almost assuredly work out in the UFC’s favor. Dana White seems to be taking this whole “Fedor Emelianenko” thing pretty seriously, so now he’s set the wheels in motion for head-to-head programming. The first thing that came to my mind when I heard about this was remembering the actions of another bombastic promoter encountering something similar in the late 1980s: one Vince McMahon.
While the then-WWF and their rivals the NWA always were involved in indirect competition, something changed in 1987 when a scheduling war erupted.
So, you’re Vince McMahon in 1987. Your wrestling company is releasing its second record album. Jim Crockett, the guy you sold the coveted TBS wrestling deal to, is making a desperate national expansion that included buying a dying territory (in the midst of its own desperate national expansion) for millions of dollars so he could then pay millions more for said territory’s TV clearances. Your next step is obvious. You record a Jim Crockett diss track under the guise of an Andre the Giant tribute.
Tommy “Wildfire” Rich started his career in 1974 in the Georgia territory at the age of 18. After a few years working the area, he moved on to Memphis, where he wrestled as a heel managed by Jimmy Hart. A year later, he returned to Georgia and redebuted as one of the hottest faces working in the nation.
I figured I should post this one next since it was excerpted during the Costas interview. ..
After Trish Stratus tried to turn on Vince for the first time, he made her apologize to him as ridiculously as possible in one of the most infamous segments in Raw history and possibly the Vince-est segment ever on WWF/E programming (it would be this or “Stand Back” at the Slammys, one would think). During the course of this piece of politically incorrect television, we get the following Vince quotes:
“Get on your hands and knees like a dog! Get on your hands and knees like a dog, okay! I used to have a female dog and that bitch did everything I told her to, NOW DAMMIT, GET DOWN, GET DOWN!”
“YEAH, THAT’S IT! CRAWL AROUND THE RING LIKE A DOG! YOU’RE SORRY! YOU’RE SORRY FOR MR. MCMAHON! YEAH, YOU’RE SORRY”
“Now then, I want you to tell me in dog language just how sorry you are! Okay? Yeah, tell me in dog language! Speak, Trish, speak! YEAH, BARK LIKE A DOG!”
“I’ve seen you on all fours before, they haven’t. Y’know what, Trish? I’ve seen you in other ways and they haven’t.”
“If you’re really sorry, I’m wondering what color panties you’re wearing tonight, Trish!”
“If you’re reeeaaalllyyy, reeeeeeealllly sorry, take your skirt off, AND TAKE IT OFF NOW!”
“Are you sorry enough now Trish? Are you sorry enough for Mr. McMahon? You know what? I don’t think so! No, you’re not sorry enough for Mr. McMahon, so everybody that’s watching at home, I’m warning you now, everybody that’s in this arena, turn your back if you don’t want to see this. You’re sorry! Oh yeah, you’re sorry! TAKE YOUR BRA OFF AND TAKE IT OFF NOW! TAKE IT OFF, TRISH!”
It’s terrifying, but it’s full of Vinceness.
Video after the jump (not 100% work safe due to Vince’s insane proclamations and Trish’s state of undress).
Ring Psychology 